who let you in here

[aposeme]

yes hello

my name is fire and im here with an original character. you fools. you absolute fools. now you have unleashed my ability to make the most self-indulgent bullshit of all time. the age of man is over and the time of the mallgoth has begun

anyway this is volk and he fucking sucks. hes not from planet earth but he still knows what fursonas and fidget spinners and girlbosses are. he's famous and does NOT deserve it. his best friend is an orc that drives a dodge neon. his bloodstream technically contains more red bull and dominos pizza than hemoglobin. i dont endorse anything he has said, is saying, or is about to say.

something genuinely important: Volk's got a lot of content warnings, and although he's coming in with no powers as an inmate, when he has got his magic going he can use light mind control. (remember how i said he doesn't deserve to be famous?)
content warning list and opt out are over here.

Comments

[shiftedshape]

so excited for this mallgoth trashman (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

[aposeme]

thats my character. im the trash man. i come out and i throw trash all over, all over the ring

[shiftedshape]

please tell me wrestling is one of the options for bards in your universe

[aposeme]

oh my god dude pro wrestlers are absolutely bards in the same way that actors are. its just acting with more punching involved.

actual sport wrestlers are not bards because their goal is to fight not to entertain BUT PRO WRESTLING ISNT ACTUALLY COMBAT ,

[kaijuice]

ok sorry to butt in here but im going to need someone who does tabletop to make a wrestler bard IMMEDIATELY

[aposeme]

I WILL MAKE IT CANON IN VOLK'S UNIVERSE SEE IF I DONT MOTHER FUCKERS

[shiftedshape]

eleanor and volk are gonna get along just because he'll tell her that stone cold steve austin is an ARTIST

[aposeme]

"Actors aren't artists, they're black holes of attention-seeking and insecurity, where the event horizon for being sucked in and transported to dilated time where every second lasts a hundred years is any social interaction with them. But, yes. He's an actor."

[shiftedshape]

looool eleanor just like would chidi hate you or find you fascinating i can't decide

[kaijuice]

Hello! I've seen you retweeted by friends of pals many times, so I'm glad to finally meet ya in person. Also for mall goths — it was a delightful surprise to go from stalking your permissions to stalking your app & find out about Volk's old god shard thing.

Also hoping to strong-arm you into a three-person infirmary thread if you're up for it (no pressure if not!! there will be many opportunities) Come here, loud screaming distraction, it's definitely more efficient if we talk to a warden at the same time.

[aposeme]

oh hello absolutely yes, very much, lets do this

volk is going to not want to discuss what he needs from the infirmary with someone else listening in BUT i enjoy making him upset and confused

which warden player are we going to rope into this

[barometz]

good news upset and confused is an even better distraction

RN i think silco's most likely to ask name tag dr claire but i'm good w whoever!! so if u have any preferences (or anyone reading this wants to get in on it) all the better

[aposeme]

oh good idea! i am down for that, though also cool to leave space for a warden to jump in. do you have claire's mun on plurk?

[kaijuice]

I do! I'm going to be out this evening, but I'll throw together a plurk and tag yall later on. :V

[counterstep]

hi fire! welcome! hope you have fun! :D

[tetractys]

HELLO NICE TO MEET YOU please ignore that my phone is logged into the wrong account

I am having a good time, I hope Volk isn't being like too much of a dick with his batshit insane Takes 😭

[counterstep]

lol i mean maybe in general but it's nothing bucky can't handle. he's been around enough that most things don't bother him anymore. :')